My Favorite SuperHero

My favorite superhero is not as classical as Batman or Captain America. But as I make up my mind for this prompt, my favorite superhero is the Marvel Comic Iron Man. Yes, the famous Tony Stark. I most especially love this superhero because it's being played by Robert Downey, Jr.

The movie sequence Iron Man started with its first movie airing in 2008.The next three movies aired in 2010 and this year in 2013. The comics Invincible Iron Man were published around the 90s, so it really isn't that old of a story. Although I'll be honest I have never read the comics (I'm not the comic type; I'm a different type of nerd), I have been an avid supporter of the Iron Man movies. My favorite is Iron Man 3. The plot was laid out beautifully, and the fact they made Paltrow a significant character in this movie this time got me showing two thumbs up.

The Iron Man series teach its readers lessons of cruelty and war and love while fascinating the audience with highly advanced technology of shiny floating holograms, robotic assistants, and deadly weapons. Although Stark seems to be a hot head - in which he is, watch the Avengers movie and you'll notice that he really is a jerk, instead of your usual fascination of him being the main character- he is a practical and responsible figure. He literally is the sharpest tool in the shed. Also, like every human being, he has a soft spot.For his work, his suit, and his love. He doesn't entirely have a heart to begin with though. In the comics, the suit is in his bones. However, the comics writers included the hero's weaknesses and personal conflict as a dramatic and cliched effect.

This man does not possess bizarre powers like Green Lantern or Spider Man. He is human. A human running on an electric heart technically. He is a very smart human also. His wit coincides with his sarcastic, intellectual vocabulary. That is what amuses me the most. I enjoy sarcasm. Wait. I rephrase that. I enjoy worth-while sarcasm.The type of sarcasm that intrigues you in its intelligence while you're laughing your arse off. I can't help but say he is good looking too, being the ladies' (gentle)man the writers actually intended to create. He has the smarts, the lingo, the looks, and the heart. This superhero has the whole package. He can be able to detonate a bomb faster than Superman could.

Which of the Seven Sins Am I Most Guilty of?

Having thought this over for a minute, it is a toss up between two sins, lethargy and envy. I honestly believe that I can be just as lazy as the next couch potato and as envious as the next teenage girl. These two conflicting sins rule my heart and mind in a very bad way. I do hope I can overcome these two when I grow up, or I wish I can even control them in a possible way. If someone is not yelling at me to do the dishes, I will not do it. If someone has really nice legs or a sweet looking sweater, I'm going to pray very hard that that bod and sweater will be mine.

I believe my sloth stage reached its peak when I went to MBA for sophmore year- so only last year! Yes, I've actually noticed it myself. I do not have the energy to do anything unless it has something to do with Masami and Savannah, my boyfriend, or my mom. Somewhere in my head, my activity level was switched off. For that year, I barely read other books besides our class textbook. (I barely read my text book also.) Well, I did read a couple novels, but not my usual one-every-month. (This is why I am glad I have Assertive Reading (AR) because I am literally forced to read books for a grade. And the class is just pure silence for an hour in a cold class room. HOW COOL IS THAT?! <3) I did not join co-ed volleyball or women's soccer because I saw myself as too busy with school work. Hey, I really was busy. My mind was not mentally prepared to get engaged with after-school practices after being literally thrown out of my last school (it closed down because of low funds).

But as I type this out, I am mentally kicking myself for not joining those sports. I believe I gained weight for sitting on my butt for a year. However, I am joining volleyball and hopefully a soccer team this junior year. I need to get active and social. I also have to be harsh on myself in my studies. This school gives loads of homework and quizzes everyday and expect a lot from a student. I'm not complaining actually. I am thankful for this. My heart is just unwilling. I haven't pushed myself this much in a year. My ambition in Calvary is gone. My stamina in sports has withered to almost nothing.

Literally, my heart feels tired. I don't even want to be in school at this very moment. But you know, something in me is pushing me also. Something inside me is turning my gears and is still encouraging me to move forward. Some days Lethargy creeps up behind my ear and whispers the sweet nothing of its laziness and I fall for it. Yet there is something in me that fires me up to not fall for that sin. Call me a spiritual freak, but I won't care; I  believe it's the Holy Spirit in me. The mini version of God is telling me what to do. He is telling me what to do. And if it weren't for Him, I'd be in an even worse affair with Lethargy.

Next is Envy. This beotch rules me with an iron fist. I don't believe I show my jealousy too much. But I still have it in my heart. I get jealous of my sister, of my pretty best friend, of my talented and bilingual best friend, of my boyfriend looking at another girl, of my mother's smarts and responsibility, and of my classmates clothes and bodies. I always see something I like. My eighth grade English teacher explained the difference of jealousy and envy, and the definitions have not left me since. Jealousy is wanting what that person has; envy is having what that person has rather than that person having it himself. That is a violation of the Tenth Commandment too.

Hence, my insecurity fuels my envy.

I am prone to all of the main sins because I am a sinner and so are you, reader. Sinning is bad, but honestly it's fun too. If you don't think that then you're lying. That's a sin too. My goal is to limit my two overbearing sins of Lethargy and Envy. When you're a believer, you wouldn't want to disappoint God, so you try your best to be perfect for Him. I want to be perfect for Him.

All I'll need to do is pray, pray, pray. 

My Favorite Trip

Last last summer of 2011, I went to Washington D.C. for a week with my mom, sister, and the Pellegrinos, my next immediate family (my grandpa and his three awesome children). Even though the trip was quick, it was an amazing and blessed experience. I went to the White House and the House of Representative, visited beautiful museums and the capital's monuments, and had super fast wifi in the hotel lobby. We stayed in a hotel for week, and after four days of stay, I did not want to leave. I loved the family experience as a whole and miss the beautiful capital.

Last summer of 2012, I went to Japan with my friend Masami and her mom to live with them in their apartment near Tokyo for three and a half weeks. (It was supposed to be me, Masami, and Savannah, but complications came up.) I visited my mom's cousins family in Yokohama and had loads of fun eating out with them, visiting the coast guard ship and shows, and taking care of their three highly actice children. The food was amaaaazing. I miss riding on the train, but I don't miss rush hour. I enjoyed my time with Masami. I don't know about her but I actually had fun with her.

Tokyo Sky Tree

This summer of 2013, I went to New England (Mass and New Hampshire) to visit my grandparents for three weeks in July. One thing for sure, I miss them sooooo much. I had not seen them in seven years; the last time I had saw them was during my brother's college graduation, and I was only nine. My mom, sister, and I stayed in their 19th century one bathroom, two bedroom, one story floor home. They are old; both are nearly 80 years old. But they really know how to have fun! I learned the history and seen many of the first few buildings and churches and plazas that were among the first of America's cities. We stayed in the city of Bedford; it was peaceful and decorated with a lot of green, just like Saipan. It's an old town also (consider the picture and its date of birth of 1729.) Every step we took in Lexington and Concord was laden with the history of battles. The trip to the states was very tiring, but I'd do it in a heart beat if anything bad happens to my grandparents or if I ever get the chance to see them again.



So which one is my favorite? Tough decision. I experienced a trip and a city that not all Saipan residents can witness. I had to be independent while in Japan because all I had was my friend and her non-English speaking mother in a fairly non-English speaking country. Visiting family halfway across the world was a feat and spending time with my loving grandparents was satisfaction to my heart. However, I do not have a favorite trip, but favorite trips. They will forever be in my heart: the streets I walked upon; the people I had passed; the smell of the less humid air; the various, colorful flora; the excitement I'd experience when seeing a squirrel scamper to a nearby tree; the lonliess of being in a foreign city; the smiles upon my grandparent's face the first time I had seen them in years; the overwhelming sight of the Burlington Mall in Massachusetts; and the sigh of relief when you step foot back on Saipan.

Every trip has a starting point and a finish line. I'm still waiting for the best trip I will ever embark and finish. Perhaps it's when I go off to college. Or when my spirit ascends to heaven. Only time and my decisions will tell.

Knowledge and Experience vs. Asking for Advice

For journalism class, the following statement was given as our topic: "It is better to use your knowledge and experience to solve problems than ask other people for advice." I've pondered for a minute whether I agree or disagree with the statement. I personally believe that applying the knowledge that you have acquired through your studies will benefit you in the long run rather than asking people for their opinion and wise words. If you made a mistake, you will - and should - learn from it. With that you'll be able to efficiently solve your other problems.

"Take responsibility for yourself," says my mom after I make a stupid mistake. I am honestly a dependent person (whether it is homework or just having someone right next to me and talking so I can listen to them). I feel as if I cling to people too much. I really do not want to be a burden to friends, teachers, and definitely not my parents. Being at a new school without my two best friends who I love in the whole darn world is a big step for me. This is my time to experience independence.

Without Masami and Savannah, I'm on my own. You have no idea how alone I feel when I'm surrounded by people 99.9% of the time. Of course, I am very grateful for the girls I hang around with. Everyone is outgoing and hilarious! But through my eyes, nothing is the same. This is something I have to overcome; this sixteen year old grunge blogger needs to pass Independence 101.

Going back to the topic of experience versus advice, I also encourage people to ask for advice when you are in need of help. In personal situations, this is my last resort. If you have really no idea what the question chem homework means or if you feel like exploding in frustration because your father does not understand you, then ask for help (or advice). Consider help from those who understand the homework or have experienced the situation as you. Your problems may be unique in your world, but there are a lot of other people who have walked through the same door as you.

So yes, I prefer knowledge and experience, but if you like asking people advice and questions and that is how you truly learn, I support your choice. But you never experience life at its fullest unless you get out of your comfort zone. Right now, nearly ten hours a day (volleyball practices included) and five days a week I'm pushing myself out of my zone little by little. Some nights I look back with teary eyes, back pedal to my zone, and take a breather. Some nights I force myself to look forward and push myself to go forward. I believe God is testing me. And every night before I close my eyes I look up and say to Him, " I think I'm ready."

Favorite Metaphor of Love

Ahh, the topic of love. A simple four letter that is just as complicated as life. Every human being has their own perspective about love. And to sum it down, my definition of love can be simply stated in the form of my favorite metaphor. Love is a key. I found this metaphor in a short excerpt of A Mortal Antipathy by Oliver Wendell Holmes. It goes along the lines of this: Love is the master key that unlocks the gates of happiness, of hatred, of jealousy, and most easily of all, the gate of fear.

I enjoy this sentence because 1) it compares love to the concept of keys and I absolutely adore keys (I have a very small skeleton key collection), and 2) it explains the fact that one experiences a variety of emotions while trapped in love's clutches. Yes, I will admit that I have experienced the heart-ripped-into-freaking-who-knows-many-pieces type of love when I unconditionally loved someone. (Moral of story: it sucks.) However, I am over that experience and am on a new phase of "young love" with someone ever so mutually dear to me.

Back to the point. The concept of love being a key and "unlocking the gates of..." ladada is pretty significant to my definition of love. In my experience, you feel a clash of emotions at once every single second of the day. It drives you insane and makes you feel like the happiest human being alive while you are crying your eyes out in your bedroom while wondering what your lover/beloved thinks of you. Perhaps I am exaggerating, but most of the time your mind feels that way. 

When you are in love, you are happy, most especially when that person loves you back. (I am blessed in this <3).When you are in love, you get jealous. Really jealous. As in no-one-should-be-talking-to-him-or-smiling-at-him-like-that type of jealousy. In an actual bf/gf relationship, this can get ugly (but this is where the trust faction comes in). When you are in love, you become angry. Frequently. This is jealousy's cousin. They occasionally play with each other in the playgrounds of your heart. And last but not least, you become fearful. You fear the rejection. You fear their leaving. You fear their eyes looking at another person. You fear being forgotten. More so you fear being alone in general. 

As you experience all the baggage acquired while loving, you become a new person. As you open the doors of love's mansion, you view life through through different eyes and react maturely - or poorly - to daily situations. You go through phases. Depends on what kind of love you're going through though.

Love sucks, and love is awesome. I remember reading a poem about el-oh-vee-ee. We have all contemplated the question, "Is it better to be loved than to not be loved at all?" Remember what it was like to love? And not to love? Which is actually better? 1) It actually differs to some people. 2) Yet whichever you choose is a loss. Honestly, some get emotionally.. impaired after a bad relationship. However if it's a good experience, then love is a good result. And even if it's a bad experience, you leearrrn from your mistakes.  

Describing myself

One of the coolest things about starting at a new school is that no one really has a clue of who you are. I mean, being on Saipan (and hanging with the certain crowd) you tend to know many people by name and such. But you don't know their entire story. Everyone has a story. Have you ever noticed? When you look at someone, there are pages and pictures that record his past. Right now seems like the perfect time to introduce Tiana properly.

First off, my last name is pronounced Ran-ho. not Ran-jo.

this is my twin!

In  July 1997, I was born here in Saipan and raised by two extraordinary loving and hardworking parents. I've been raised in the eyes of two partners who are strict in discipline and education. And their love has never failed me since. I'm a walking melting pot of American, Italian, Pennsylvania Dutch (my mom), and Filipino blood (my dad). My parents weren't the type to go to church every Sunday. However, they were religious in their own ways. As I said, my parents are strict, for they constantly taught me and Andrea the right and wrong. However, it's not like we lived a boring life. My parents know how to have fun! Being active was just as important as being virtuous. And if anyone would ever hear about my mom talking about my sister at a young age, she would always mention how proud I was of being a big sister. Although we are two years and nine months apart, I tend to think she is still as feeble as she was at three. In other words, I'm very protective. So if anyone were to hurt her, I'd be there to protect her in the blink of an eye. No lie. I love my immediate family. We are actually going through a hard time at the moment, but it's a hurdle we have to jump over together.

Traditionally I have dark brown eyes and dark brown-almost-black hair. (Hair everryywhere because of the Italian side.) I tend to get self-conscious of my body, but other times I yolo myself to feel good. (That's when I push myself in soccer!) Also, I'm content with my height of 5'3". So yeah, I'm not tall as some Americans or as skinny as some Asians, yet I honestly love how God made me.

Now let's get down to deeper business. Who am I really? Let us start at my worst.

I tend to be forgetful and irresponsible in situations such as school, personal items, etc. I have to write down certain homework and facts; my way of studying involves a lot of rereading and recopying notes. I also tend to lack ambition in things I have no care for. I underestimate myself in many situations. I also cheat in work (which is my absolute last resort in school). I get apathetic also. You have to tell me commands twice when I'm not in the mood. I am sensitive; some say emotionally weak. I can get very sarcastic when irritated. Lastly, I am human (a fact and partly an excuse).

Last year for a personal profile project, I had to ask people (via Facebook) what they had thought of me. The following are the two common things people had said about me that I remember: Tiana is kind and patient. Some say too kind. That is true haha. I am a positive person. I'd rather center myself amongst positive vibes. I love children also. ("Oh lol, pedophile huhuhuh." Seriously, c'mon grow up.) Lastly, I love to listen to what people have to say, whether it be negative or positive; shallow or considerate; funny or stupid. Someone always has something to say, and I am glad to lend an ear. This is where the patience comes in  too.

I have two very close friends, Masami and Savannah. If anyone wants to know more about me, they should ask these two. They are honest and beautiful people at heart. Our friendship, however, did not start out well. We did not entirely get along. But with a lot of patience and understanding, we gradually became closer with each other. They are my sisters. I love them so much!!! The best part is that our families are just as close too.

my hottie and photo expert of a friend Savannah (credit to her)

a picture of all three of us! (starting left: Me, Masami, and Savannah)

Oh! I love sports, too. Most especially soccer. It's the only sport I truly know: its rules and strategies. No, I'm not in any way professional. I just absolutely love the people I interact with and the sport in general. I play volleyball and basketball also, but soccer is the sport I am most comfortable in.

So that was me. I've left out so much on purpose because I have no words in explaining it all. That could be another post. 

New Year's Resolution

I had written my personal resolutions for 2013 not long after New Years Eve. Many of my resolutions weren't entirely goals but more along the lines of simple rules and regulations that I promise myself to keep throughout the years and even my life. For example, I promised myself not to yell or raise my voice at my mother, to stay close friends with my two sisters-from-other-misters, to continue playing my usual variety of sports, and to simply not get pregnant before college. But after my first day of school and journalism class, I might at well think of more exciting and worthwhile goals for my life at sixteen.

First, I'd like to visit a completely foreign country with either my closest friend(s), my spouse, or eldest child who must be older than twelve years old. And foreign meaning a culture I have no clue of its existence or a place I do not know one word of their language. I honestly do not like going to places like this. For instance, my mom wanted to go to Beijing one summer, but I selfishly refused and ridiculed her. I was unsure of the country, for neither my mom or dad knew the language. If it was Japan, I would be perfectly fine with going because I know a few words and my mom is a fluent Japanese speaker. But to go somewhere completely foreign will take me out of my comfort zone and be an experience I could proudly tell others. Some place in India, Cuba, Africa or even China. I might even envision epiphanies about my life and my fellow travelling partner. I want to experience more of the world other than the caves of Saipan. 

Secondly, I'd actually want to go on a vast shopping spree in the Mall of America. Yeah, pretty much what every female wishes, but I'd go full out on this trip. Officials say it takes at least three days to completely view the shops and walk around this mall. What I will need is either my mom or a close friend who is willing to sleep a night in the mall and constantly shop. I'll need segways or golf carts to get me to the stores I like and to the amusement park rides I want to experience. I'll need a $100,000 on my debit card (cash slows everything down and I am against credit cards); I'll be putting all my purchased goods in those recyclable bags that sell at grocery stores for easy carrying access.I believe I need to get permission from the head director of the mall and their mall cops, but honestly it's something I'll be willing to crazily do.

Lastly, I would like to influence my classmates towards good deeds. I'd have to be friends first, because no one wants to be bossed around or told what to do by someone they don't know. I'll slowly begin to learn everyone's names (most especially the guys, I'm not keen with Korean names) and should talk to them. Okay, I'll have to put aside the shy Tiana and start participating; that's the challenge in this. In the next month, quarter, or even next semester I could be more open to my classmates. Or teacher. Being an influence will either be through action or words.Well, that's for being a good influence. A bad influence would be through force. I'm not like that. This was my goal for when I was in Marianas Baptist Academy, my last school. I wouldn't say it was a success, yet I wouldn't say it was a failure also. However, this is overall my top priority.

I've been told writing down your goals actually encourages you to accomplish them because they are, well, written down and in black and white. It'll be a shame to just leave it alone because you've wasted about fifty cents worth of ink on your ten cent piece of paper. And posting this on the internet will allow all who are willing to see it to actually see it! So if you don't see a halfcast teenager on the news for going on a shopping spree three consecutive days in a row in Mall of America in the next couple of moths (most likely YEARS), then I have let myself down.